The Physical Cost to Me
November 15th, 2010I will post some story soon honest! It’s all sitting in the archive at the moment but these things keep coming up that I want to blog about.
Getting to meets and write-ins as I have said in the last couple of posts is difficult. We currently have no car and I am on crutches and suffer chronic pain and fatigue anyway. I am pregnant and nervous as I lost the last baby just after the nano last year and my mother (meaning well) told me it was because I was sitting down and writing too much for NaNoWriMo (this is not the case and I spent alot of last November in a lot of pain so knew the pregnancy was iffy anyway – the nano kept me sane).
Anyway to help me keep my fitness levels up I am supposed to go walking twice a day using the crutches – without them I really just can not walk. So after checking with the Dr and stuff I decided to attempt to go to a write-in under my own steam. I was hoping to get a lift up to the bus stop but this fell through.
So I knew I’d missed the bus that would actually get me in on time for the beginning of the meet. This was ok though as the thing was four hours long – the buses come every hour here :/ So I had a cup of tea and headed out the door. It wasn’t raining but was a blustery autumn day with golden and red leaves hitting me in the face – this was actually quiet nice. But it should take about 20 minutes to get up the hill to the bus stop. My pelvis is so painful that it too me about 50 minutes meaning I got to the bus minutes after the next bus had left.
I cried. No seriously I cried. Using my crutches I then sat myself down at the bus stop on the curb and waited the hour for the next bus. I cried at my husband on the phone, I was in a lot of pain and the thing was I couldn’t just say turn around and walk back down the hill my pelvis was not going to let me do that. The pub didn’t open for another hour and they were taking a delvery so I couldn’t sit on their wall like I normally do if I miss the bus!
My mother phoned me and told me off for even trying to go out with out a lift. I pointed out I wouldn’t have done it if it was rainy or icy as I can’t risk falling.
I read my book Elizabeth and how she came to power and started to get cold. But just as it was starting to become an issue it was time to get up for the bus anyway. I used the crutches to pull myself up on and it was pain full – very but I managed it and to be honest that was part of the outing too. I can not afford to think of myself as trapped or even a cripple – I just have certain ways things need to be done.
I got the bus and discovered that there are too many old people who where taking up all the seats that faced forwards so I sat on the side ways facing seats – which was painful everytime we went round the corner but baby enjoyed the ride, doing a little disco all the way to town!
I got in and made my way slowly from the bus stop to the coffee shop where most people had already been and gone – wanting to get an early start in 🙁 But the ML and new Co-ML where there and I got to chat (lots) which might not have been doable with if I’d arrived early on!
We chatted about kids and fitting writing in and about the other ‘um-I wish this wasn’t happening in November’ things! Which helped boost me back up alot. The coffee was also far better than anything I can make at home and I got my favorite muffin too. They stayed latter which was good as I was over too hours late. The ML run to stop the bus for me on the way home.
I had written maybe 700 words at the meeting but was raring to go.
However I was later than planned and pelvis etc… was iffy. Hubby agreed that he would put on a DVD for our little girl whilst he finished work and then they would both walk up to the pub to meet me as other wise I was going to have to make my way back in the twilight on slippery leaves (it having rained). Fortunatly it was a day he was working from home otherwise this couldn’t have happened. I said thankyou to the bus driver and headed into the pub.
I have to say I was so tired and in pain by this point that I was shaking but I got to sit down and basically be served. So I initially sat and got my hands back into some usable sort of situation and then wrote notes on my story.
I was in the pub until about 6:30 when hubby and little one turned up. Knowing I really wasn’t going to be able to manage many of the meets I bought them dinner. Whilst waiting in the pub I managed to get 3000 words for the day! Only stopping when battery and absence of plug sockets that the pub hadn’t had to come along to use forced me too.
I then read my book which was research for my story anyway.
The walk home was in the dark and slippery, I was in alot of pain and going quiet slowly but we still got home in time for my little girl not to be late to bed and she was excited that she got to go on an adventure though she was grumpy at me for not being home when she got home from school 🙁
Physically this was too hard on me – pelvis was extra painful for like a week and hands don’t like the crutches so I had a few ouchy typing days. It is not something I like doing sitting my little girl down in front of a DVD so parents can work but I reason this was a one off – I was going to be back in time for her but it all went a bit wrong! My husband is also lovely trekking up to help me down with reflective strips and head torches.
I am glade I went – even though it was so very painful, mentally I needed to do this – it was the first week of Nano and I had already missed the lunch party etc… I needed to get out and talk to other writers – needed to get out full stop. And though I am not going to do it again as I feel the cost was too high it sets my mind at ease because I know I can do it!
These last few posts have been self indulgent and I don’t kid myself that you guys want to know this stuff but for me it is part of the me that is Writer. These are some of the issues I am living with. I may do a few more of them as well so be warned!